I haven't written since mid-September, but I think about writing all of the time. After so much time has passed, I just don't even know where to begin. I think the thing that has kept me from writing is the death of my dad on October 18th. I keep thinking that I need to write about him, but I just haven't had the mental energy to do so. I'm not sure that I have the energy even today. One of my friends suggested that I just move on and not get bogged down and that's what I think I will do--thanks Cristin.
I will say that I miss my dad much more than I ever thought possible. He was a good man but he more often than not bugged the crap out of me and I had little tolerance for his whack-a-doo ideas and beliefs. He was super stubborn, a lot like me in fact. The thing is, he absolutely adored Kiersta, and she him. I am so sorry that the two of them will not be able to spend time together anymore.
This is the final picture I took of my dad and Kiersta together, less than a month before he passed away.
The other piece of news that has kept me from writing, is the fact that I have been super tired for the past three months or so. I'm just not a very good pregnant lady. My body does not like all of the hormones coursing through me and fights back on a near daily basis. I didn't know I was pregnant at the time of my dad's death--I thought many of my symptoms were wrapped up in my grief and anxiety of the situation at hand. While grief may have contributed, I now know the full story. It is hard to be so happy and so sad at the same time. I so wish my dad could have been told in person that he was going to be a Morfar (grandfather) again. I have to believe that he does know in his own way though.
So there you have it, the death of my dad and the upcoming birth in mid-June of our second child. As the cliche' says, when one door closes, another opens. Cliches are said for a reason though and this one is definitely true for me right now. I'm hoping that with 2008 ending I can put away my guilt over not writing and bring in a sense of renewed optimism for life with 2009.
Wishing everyone a very happy new year!