The phone rings. I glance at the caller ID and see that it is Brian and answer despite the fact that I am attempting to calm Kyle down with one hand and the other is reaching for the bulk package of diaper wipes.
"Never again" I say when I pick up the phone.
"What?" replies Brian.
"I am never going to Costco again on a Sunday afternoon by myself with a small child and no help!"
"Things aren't going well?" asks Brian as Kyle wails in the background.
"That's putting it mildly," I say. "I've got to go! Love you! Bye!"
My eyes are darting around looking frantically for a place to nurse the baby. I briefly consider the bathroom but I don't want to abandon the shopping cart piled high with necessities such as pre-made meals, label maker tape refills, fudgesicles, and a discount pass for Golfland; You know, the bare necessities. "Could I sit in the middle of an aisle and nurse?" I wonder. I'm not overly modest and I have a "Hooter Hider" with me, but the thought of sitting on concrete while leaning against 50 pound bags of dog food just doesn't sound appealing. Luckily, Kyle quiets down after a couple of minutes once I pick him up in one arm and steer the cart with the other, not an easy thing to do in the middle of rush hour traffic with a cart that has one wonky wheel and a car seat blocking your view.
I manage to pick up the last few things on my list (shampoo, conditioner, B-vitamins), plus a few extras that were purely impulse buys (macadamia nuts and dark chocolate pomegranate candy--though these were now a necessity due to my state of mind). I find a cashier with no line and have someone else unload the cart while I continue to hold the baby.
I survive my trip to Costco, but I will not willingly subject myself to that misery ever again. Oh, and remember those diapers I was there to buy? Apparently size 1 diapers are not sold in bulk, so I didn't even purchase the one thing that was the biggest necessity of all!