Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Shocked the heck out of me!!!

I've been thinking about writing this post for a little over a week now, had a title picked out and everything. Today I am finally finding the time to sit down and write a little and I can not remember for the life of me what that title was going to be. I know it started with a "D" and is a verb or an adjective. Dependable? Diabolical? Dismayed? Nope, none of those, but I know it has something to do with the topic. Ahhh! It's right on the tip of my tongue. Pregnancy brain is making my life difficult, or perhaps I'm just distracted by the lights and sounds of MarioKart being played by Kiersta?

Anyway, I've been teaching full-time since 1997. In all that time I've always thought that teaching is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but since I can't think of anything else that I'd rather do, I continue to work in the classroom. I don't mind teaching and I think I do a good job, but I don't necessarily feel like it is my "life calling."

Towards the end of the last school year, before Kyle was born, I had to make a decision about what I was going to do about taking a leave at the beginning of the school year. I am a bit of a control freak and decided that I didn't want to take full-time leave for a month, instead I decided to work half-time, mornings only, with a sub in the afternoon. I do all of the planning and the majority of the prep (in other words, I still have some control), I'm not a stranger to my students, I'll still have sick days when I return full-time to the classroom, and I still get to spend lots of time with the baby. Really, it seemed like the perfect solution. So, imagine my surprise when I found myself struggling to leave, day after day, at the right time to go home because I wanted to be in the classroom with my students. As the title says, it shocked the heck out of me! I truly did not expect this reaction. I thought I would be ecstatic to be able to spend so much extra time at home, but I'm not. Now I'm hoping that my sub will be offered a teaching position of her own and that I can then come back full-time!

Enjoying a drink on my birthday last month

As I wrote this, I finally remembered the word I was searching for, "dedicated." I didn't know I had it in me. Then again, maybe the better word would be "certifiable." :)

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