Never Again

It's Sunday afternoon. We have four diapers left. I am in a race between running out of diapers and making it to Costco before they close to buy more.

The phone rings. I glance at the caller ID and see that it is Brian and answer despite the fact that I am attempting to calm Kyle down with one hand and the other is reaching for the bulk package of diaper wipes.

"Never again" I say when I pick up the phone.

"What?" replies Brian.

"I am never going to Costco again on a Sunday afternoon by myself with a small child and no help!"

"Things aren't going well?" asks Brian as Kyle wails in the background.

"That's putting it mildly," I say. "I've got to go! Love you! Bye!"

My eyes are darting around looking frantically for a place to nurse the baby. I briefly consider the bathroom but I don't want to abandon the shopping cart piled high with necessities such as pre-made meals, label maker tape refills, fudgesicles, and a discount pass for Golfland; You know, the bare necessities. "Could I sit in the middle of an aisle and nurse?" I wonder. I'm not overly modest and I have a "Hooter Hider" with me, but the thought of sitting on concrete while leaning against 50 pound bags of dog food just doesn't sound appealing. Luckily, Kyle quiets down after a couple of minutes once I pick him up in one arm and steer the cart with the other, not an easy thing to do in the middle of rush hour traffic with a cart that has one wonky wheel and a car seat blocking your view.

I manage to pick up the last few things on my list (shampoo, conditioner, B-vitamins), plus a few extras that were purely impulse buys (macadamia nuts and dark chocolate pomegranate candy--though these were now a necessity due to my state of mind). I find a cashier with no line and have someone else unload the cart while I continue to hold the baby.

I survive my trip to Costco, but I will not willingly subject myself to that misery ever again. Oh, and remember those diapers I was there to buy? Apparently size 1 diapers are not sold in bulk, so I didn't even purchase the one thing that was the biggest necessity of all!

No Longer a Lump

I'm happy to report that at just over 6-weeks of age, Kyle is no longer a lump (as one of Brian's friends so lovingly referred to the baby). Kyle is a stereotypical baby in that he actually says, "Ah-goo" in a very quiet voice. He is smiling at us too; real smiles, not just gassy ones. All of this, plus the intense gazes, just make my heart melt.

Kyle continues to sleep a lot, both day and night. Last night I put him down around 11:30 PM. He didn't wake up until nearly 8:30 AM! I was a little worried, but still chose not to wake him up. I don't know if tonight will be as good, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Today Kyle attended his first kids birthday party. He wore a festive Hawaiian shirt to the celebration. He doesn't look so much like David Cook here, now he kind of looks like a drunk movie star, Brian and I are thinking Nick Nolte.

1 Month

Having two kids, you can't help but compare them. My memory of Kiersta during her first month is probably spotty at best, but this is what I remember.

Kiersta was a horrible sleeper, still is. She was awake, alert, and crying much of the time (she had colic). She still cries more than her brother does! As a result of being up so much of the time, Kiersta had a lot more tummy time and her neck muscles were much more developed than Kyle's are at one month. Kiersta was also quite a bit more photogenic than Kyle is, not sure why though.

Kiersta at just over 1-month old

Kyle is a good baby, that's not to say that Kiersta wasn't, but they just have very different temperments (as most siblings do). Kyle tends to sleep away most of the day away and much of the night, too. He wakes up to eat and have his diaper changed. He tends to not cry much. He'll cry for short amounts of time, but once his needs have been met, he stops. Kyle is beginning to be awake for longer amounts of time but he is still not particularly demanding during those times. Kyle is cute (I'm obligated to say that as his mom), but he is not very photogenic. When I try to take his picture, he just looks a bit like David Cook.

Here's Kyle just after a bath

Kyle at one month old looking like David Cook

Happy Anniversary

Me 8 Years Ago...Contemplating the Future

Today Brian and I celebrated our 8-year wedding anniversary. We didn't do much, no presents, no cards, no flowers, which is exactly what I wanted. We did, however, go out to dinner with the kids (it still feels weird to say "kids" plural). However, with kids in tow, we couldn't go any place too fancy. We ended up at The Counter at Santana Row, which was so super yummy!

The Counter is right next to the tiny playground and a grassy area (fake grass that has sprinklers-why does artificial turf need sprinklers???). Kiersta had a fantastic time playing both before and after dinner.

It's hard to believe we've been married for 8 years, together for 13 years. We have our ups and downs, but despite everything, Brian is still my best friend.

Eight Years Ago Tonight...So Happy Together

Custody Battles

Brian and I are fighting for custody of Kyle with our daughter. Kiersta absolutely adores her brother. We don't need to worry about her being over-jealous, if anything, she is over-zealous! Kiersta wants to help in all aspects of raising Kyle, which is great in theory, but often she ends up being in the way. In the 2-weeks since Kyle has been home, Kiersta has calmed down a lot and is learning the boundaries of what is and isn't acceptable. Brian and I are trying to keep her pre-baby routine as close to normal as possible and we are also trying to spend special one-on-one time with her.

First Meeting

"He's the same size as my dollies!"

I know I should appreciate the love and attention that Kiersta showers upon her brother more than I do. I'm sure that in just a couple of years when Kyle is idoling Kiersta and following her around everywhere, she will probably refer to him as her "little bother" instead of her little brother. I really am very lucky to have such a caring daughter to help out so much. :)

The adoring big sister!

Holding Kyle at his second picnic.

"Mommy, take our picture!"

Brushing Kyle's hair after his first bath.

And Then There Were Four

I am proud to announce the arrival of Baby Kyle! I can hardly believe he is 2-weeks old already. He was born at 5:38 PM on June 9th. He weighed in at 7 pounds, 3 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. The funny thing is, he was supposed to be huge (according to the ultrasounds) and so I was induced two-weeks early (yes, today was his actual due date). Instead of being my big boy, he ended up being over half a pound lighter than Kiersta. I'm totally good with him coming early though; I was a miserable pregnant lady, plus he came out face up and ripped me up pretty good during his journey into the world--I can not imagine him being any bigger!

So far, Kyle sleeps a lot! He wakes up every 3 hours to eat and is beginning to be alert for an hour here and there. Input and output are all good and he is gaining weight (he was nearly back up to his birth weight at his one-week check up).

I haven't been resting enough, but with a 5-year old, it is hard to find the time to sit back and relax as much as I should. Kyle has managed to lead a very active life already; I have been taking Kyle out and about since he was 3-days old! So far, we have gone out to lunch with friends and family at least 3 times, had 2 picnics, gone to swim lessons and gymnastics classes with his sister, attended my mom's birthday party, visited with relatives who were here from Sweden, lost his umbilical cord, and gone to the park/playground a few times. We've managed to stay home and not go anywhere exactly twice in the past 2 weeks!

Enough about our days though, here are the pictures:

Minutes after Kyle was born!

Kyle's face all munched up from being face up in the birth canal (good news though--no coning of the head = bigger diameter coming through = much ripping).

Relaxing on Mom's legs.

All set to go home--he doesn't really fit in the car seat very well.

Dazed and confused after his first bath.

We've Got Babies!!!

Babies????  Plural????  Really????  Yup!

About a month and a half ago, we noticed one of our hummingbirds flitting about with bits of fluff in its mouth.  These bits were being placed atop one of the wind chimes located on our back patio. Turns out this little bird was building a nest in what seemed to be a quite perilous location.

Our little hummingbird atop her nest.

After waiting for about 3 weeks, we finally noticed that there were baby hummingbirds in the nest.  Unfortunately my pregnant belly does not allow for me to climb ladders right now, so I sent Brian up a ladder to take a picture or two of the little ones.

Two Baby Hummingbirds.

It's been a lot of fun watching the mama come and go, I just wish I could get a closer view.

As for my baby, well, I'm scheduled to be induced at 4:30 in the morning on Tuesday, June 9th!

And, for the record, I am only having one.

First Camping Trip of the Year

A couple of weeks ago Brian, Kiersta, and I headed over to Henry Coe Park for a one-night camping trip with two other families.  Since I am quite pregnant, we decided to take the old VW Vanagon and sleep in the car instead of a tent.  Another plus, little set up or tear down time was involved.  I also have to point out that it had been 6-months to the day since my Dad passed away and it seemed very appropriate to be camping, something my dad loved nearly more than anything else.  The two other families have girls who used to go to Kiersta's pre-school and were her best friends while they attended the school.   They don't see each other too often these days, so it was really fun to see the three of them having so much fun together for an extended period of time.

Isabella, Amne, and Kiersta on the top bunk of the Vanagon.

After a night of relatively little sleep, those mattresses are hard!, we went out hiking, and letterboxing.  We hiked for about 3 miles total in over 95 degree heat.  We found all three of the boxes we were looking for as well as a rattle snake--the first I've ever seen in the wild! 

Henry Coe is known for its spring wildflowers and we saw many.  Here are a few:

Poppies

Wildflowers that I don't know the name of.

Iris

Towards the end of our first hike of the day, Kiersta and I took a little rest near an old gate as we waited for our friends to catch up with us. After this hike, we had lunch, and then our friends left.  Brian, Kiersta, and I went for one more hike.  There was one more letterbox to find in the park and I wasn't going to let it pass me by. Henry Coe is only a few freeway exits away from where we live, but it takes nearly an hour to drive into the park down a long windy road. We had a lot of fun on this trip, for the most part, and I think it would be well worthwhile to come back and explore this park further when the weather and my body are more cooperative.

Letterboxing in Pacifica

On my final day of freedom; the last where Kiersta was in school and I wasn't, as well as no baby, I joined my mom and her friend Sharon for a day of letterboxing in Pacifica.  I had heard that the weather was supposed to be cool and overcast, so I put on long pants and a long-sleeved shirt and grabbed a jacket to bring along.  However, the day ended up being just lovely with lots of sunshine, so much so that I came home with a sunburn.  Here are some highlight pictures of our day out on the coast of California.

Luckily I knew just where to go if a tsunami were to strike.

Here's my mom waiting patiently while we finish stamping in.  

It wasn't hard to wait though with a view like this though.

One of the many coastal flowers we saw.

We made a stop at the Point Montara Lighthouse, which I had never been to before despite frequenting the local beaches in high school and having one of my best friends live in Montara at one point in her life.  It was a nice area with great views but not quite as spectacular as the lighthouse at Pigeon Point, a bit further south.  As you can see, there is no fog anywhere and I felt overdressed.

Our final stop of the day was at a small scrapbooking store in El Granada that was going out of business.  They also were hosting a letterbox, so that seemed like a great reason to stop in and do some shopping.  Interestingly enough, a letterboxing friend of mine, WyndRyders and her two kids, had been in the very same store just a few hours before us. Great minds think alike apparently! :)

Here I am, quite pregnant, wondering which way to go next.

Home, coffee, and a bathroom were all I really wanted.

Spring Fling

Yesterday Brian, Kiersta, and I attended the annual Easter Egg Hunt for the mom's group that I belong to.  The weather was near perfect; not too hot and not too windy.  Each year we have gathered at the same park and I have taken a picture of Kiersta with two of her very good friends from the group in the same climbing structure.  It's amazing to see how much they have grown!

Claire, Kiersta, and Sarah, age 3.

The climbing structure seemed so high and I was nervous about them falling.

Claire, Kiersta, and Sarah, age 4.

They're growing up so fast!

Claire, Sarah, and Kiersta, age 5.

Can they really be old enough to start Kindergarten this fall?

They had to bend down so the rope wouldn't block their faces.

It's All in the Presentation

For years I've wanted to make this one particular cake, but could never come up with a reason to subject my friends or family with the results.  When I had a daughter 5-years ago, my hopes of making the cake were further dashed as she is pretty much a girly-girl and would not be interested in having a "gross out" party any time in the near future.

At my school, each teacher is responsible for providing treats for the staff three times a year. Treat day is always on Wednesday.  This year I saw that April Fool's Day fell on a Wednesday and I knew I could finally make my cake.  

I called my mom to let her know what I was doing. 

Here's our conversation":

Me: "I'm making a litter box cake for my work."

Mom: "So it's going to be covered in camo duct tape?"

Me: "Huh???  Oh, not letterbox...litter box!"

Mom: "I guess you can tell what I'm thinking about." while laughing.

                                                        

My Cake!

I gathered together the ingredients and put the cake together.  After microwaving the Tootsie Rolls I had to pinch the ends to make them look like real poop.  As I sat there pinching, bending, and burying I couldn't help but giggle aloud.  Some of the poops were microwaved a little too long and melted a bit much, these ones ended up looking like diarrhea...EWWWWW!

         

Would you want to eat this????

On my treat day I brought my box of kitty litter and poop to work and left it on the treat table for all to enjoy.  Some of my co-workers dove in with gusto, others were so put off by the presentation, they just couldn't look at it, let alone eat it.  A few managed to get past their squeamishness and gave it a try, much to their delight.  I thoroughly enjoyed all of the comments I received throughout the day.  However, at the day, there was cake left over, which NEVER happens at a school, so I guess my little joke went as planned.

Now I need to start planning next year's "treat."  Maybe a camouflage duct tape cake is just the thing I need to make next.

More History

The first year of The Tour of California, the time trial was held 2 blocks from my home.  I was so there!  My friends and I staked out a spot about 50 meters from the finish line, across from the large screen TVs where we could watch the starting line and ride progress of the various cyclists.

Here's Floyd Landis, about to cross the finish line of the first Amgen Tour of California.  He went on to win the entire race as well as the Tour de France (until the doping scandal).  

I live against those hills in the background!

Levi Leipheimer about to cross the finish line.  Levi didn't win this year, but he has won the race for the past 3 years!

Now the time trial is held in Solvang each year (where I rode my first Century Ride as a part of Team in Training).  I so enjoyed having the time trail close to my home but I think I need to think about taking a road trip next year.  Meanwhile, I have the memories and the photos to prove that I was there, helping to make history.

Making History

As a teacher, I very much look forward to my various breaks.  I think I need the break more than my students do.  Each February, my district takes off a week for President's Week, also known as "Ski Week."  While I love to ski, I haven't been up to the snow in over 5 years; just too expensive for my family right now.  However, for the past 4-years, I have found a way to have a lot of fun, for about 15 seconds, each February break.  That fun is known as The Tour of California--the most prestigious cycling event in the United States.  Each year I walk up Sierra Road in San Jose and watch the cyclists come by.  It's over so fast, it hardly seems worth the hour or two wait, but I manage to make it each year.  OK, confession time, I didn't go last year because I had thrown out my back and couldn't stand or walk for any length of time, but I have gone 3 of the last 4 years.

This year, I decided to take Kiersta with me to watch the cyclists.  It was cold and rainy but we had fun.

A break in the weather!  We can hang up our umbrellas by the Swedish flag.

Kiersta was pretty frightened when the riders came by.  I had warned her not to step out into the street for fear of her causing a rider to crash.  Luckily, both she and the peloton came through safely. However, Levi did hit Lance's rear wheel further on up the road and came down hard, fracturing some part of his body.

Here are the boys from Team Astana (Go Lance!  Go Levi!) leading the way up Sierra Road.

I'm proud to be a very small part of cycling history and to say that I was there when Lance made his comeback ride in the States.

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

My poor girl has been sick since Tuesday with a low grade fever that has come and gone.  On Friday evening Kiersta started complaining about her ear hurting.  This is a girl who has suffered from ear infections from infancy and had tubes placed in both ears when she was just over a year old.  I knew we were going to be in for a long night.   Unfortunately I was right. 

Lots of tears, thrashing around, and screaming were to be heard from our bedroom that night.  

Luckily, Kiersta's pediatrician has Saturday morning hours.  We got the official diagnosis of "nasty ear infection."  The doctor offered us chewable tablets instead of the liquid we were used to giving Kiersta in these situations.  We pounced on the idea as Kiersta is not a fan of the liquid medication.

We went to a pharmacy to have the prescription filled but they were out.  Kiersta's fever was rising, I was exhausted from a night of little sleep, but off we headed to another pharmacy several miles away.  Yes!  They had what we were looking for in stock.  We were told that they didn't know how it would taste, but I figured this medicine was designed for kids, so how bad could it be?  40 minutes later we finally had our prescription in hand.  At this point we were both really tired and hungry as it was well past lunch time.   The only good thing about the long wait is that we got Kiersta's birthday party planned and booked at the gymnastics center located around the corner from the pharmacy.

We got home and I opened the pills.  EWWWWWWW!  Gross!  They smelled just like penicillan, there was no flavoring at all and I had to have my poor girl chew these up twice a day for 10 days.  More tears, on both our parts, and attempts at making pill and cookie sandwiches finally got the medicine down.  At this rate, this was going to be a long 10 days. Saturday night Kiersta tried the pill with apple sauce but it was still a long process.  Today went much better though.  She ate her pills with yogurt by dipping the pill into the yogurt and then taking tiny bites.  No tears and she ate them up like the big girl she is.

So my question is, who is the idiot who made chewable antibiotics for kids that are medicine flavored????  Next time I think we'll go back to the liquid medicine that can be flavored.

Kiersta still has her fever but her ear isn't hurting anymore.   To make matters worse though, tomorrow is her 5th birthday and she still can't go to her school to celebrate her birthday (and Dr. Suess's) with her friends and classmates.  Hopefully she'll feel up to dinner with the family and a trip to Baskin-Robbins afterward.

Here's Kiersta in her pajamas that she has worn all day long after eating her pill with yogurt.  No tears!  Tomorrow she will be 5!!!

The View From Above

A few days ago my toes officially disappeared and the baby started kicking hard enough to be felt outside.  I would have posted a picture, but my view of my tummy does not translate well to a photo.

The Language of Words

I've been thinking a lot about language today and how there are many phrases that are used that don't make sense anymore.  The three that come to mind off hand are: "roll up the window" (from in a car before there were electric windows), "dial the phone" (from when there were rotary dial phones), and "turn up the volume" (from TV's before there were remotes).  It makes me laugh to hear Kiersta using these phrases.  I wonder when these archaic uses of language will stop being common vernacular.   I also wonder what we would say instead.

                                                           

What phrases can you think of that don't have relevance in today's world?

Happy Birthday Old Man

This picture was taken while I was pregnant with Kiersta.

It's been just over 3 months since my dad passed away.  Just over a week ago there was finally a memorial service for my dad.  The service was so very nice.  I learned a lot about my dad.  Many people got up to speak, share memories of him, and voice how he had influenced their lives.  It was really neat to hear of so many different facets of my dad's life.  While I knew many of the stories (one of my favorites is from when he worked at Yosemite: he used to take his photos to Ansel Adams to be critiqued!) and knew about all these different sides of my dad, I also felt a little guilty; I didn't appreciate my dad the same way that all of these other people did.  One of my friends pointed out that my dad was my dad and not my friend.  He took his role of parenting very seriously.  I certainly didn't appreciate his parenting while I was a teenager, but he was doing his job and doing it well.

Because of my dad,  I learned to love nature and traveling.  I grew up going to Yosemite several times a year. Road trips, camping, backpacking, and trips to Sweden were all regular events in my childhood. My dad gave me my first camera and I put it to good use, following his example. My dad was a physicist and I also love science and learning.  My dad put his family first and was home for dinner every night at the same time; I wish I could learn to be as regular as he was. While I didn't appreciate my dad while I was growing up, I can now see what a good parent, and person, he really was.

Yesterday would have been my dad's 80th birthday.  Brian, Kiersta, Anders, Heather, and I went over to my mom's house for dinner.  We had made it through the Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Anders' birthday all without my dad being there, but all of these events were celebrated at restaurants or my house.  This was the first time we were having a meal at my mom's house.  I agonized over who would sit in my dad's spot at the dinner table and realized that no one would or should, yet.  My mom had a small heart shaped votive candle placed on the table at my dad's seat and it was just perfect.  We ate foods that my dad loved for dinner. We didn't have a birthday cake, instead my mom made a kick-ass apple pie.  This dinner was a very fitting tribute to my dad.  He liked nothing more than seeing the family together and spending time with us.  He would have enjoyed this birthday very much.  

My gift to my dad this year will be the birth of his first grandson, due in June.  Our baby boy's working title is Kyle Richard, Richard being my dad's name.  I hope our boy has as much passion for life as my dad did, though maybe without quite so much stubbornness--I think I have enough stubbornness for all of us, just one more trait I inherited from my dad!

A New Start

Kiersta is quickly outgrowing her toddler bed, which uses her old crib mattress.  Today my mom, Kiersta and I headed over to Ikea to see if there were any beds we liked.  The youth beds were tiny with strange mattress sizes.  Kiersta was seduced by all of the accessories and really didn't pay much attention to the actual beds.  I did find one bed I liked, a cute white twin bed with drawers underneath and wainscoting around the sides.  It had enough interesting detail and isn't totally girly, though I can't imagine it as a boy's bed.  We didn't make any final decisions today, but at least we made a start in the great bed hunt.  Here's a shot of Kiersta in her current bed.

After lunch and bed shopping at Ikea (as well as buying frozen Swedish meatballs from an actual Swede), we headed over to Kepler's Books in Menlo Park to hit up their big New Year's Day sale.  I had a gift card burning a hole in my pocket.  Unfortunately, most everything I wanted they were out of.  I ended up with Anne of Green Gables, a book I've wanted to read since 6th grade but never have.  I also bought Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver.  I love her fiction but have had a harder time with her non-fiction.  I'll be curious to see how this book strikes me.

After Kepler's, we headed over to a local park and found our first letterbox of 2009.  This was my mom's 3rd try on this box.  I found the correct location right away.  I guess sometimes you just have to think outside of the box.  Overall, today was a very good start to the new year. :)

The End of it All

I haven't written since mid-September, but I think about writing all of the time.  After so much time has passed, I just don't even know where to begin.  I think the thing that has kept me from writing is the death of my dad on October 18th.  I keep thinking that I need to write about him, but I just haven't had the mental energy to do so.  I'm not sure that I have the energy even today.  One of my friends suggested that I just move on and not get bogged down and that's what I think I will do--thanks Cristin.

I will say that I miss my dad much more than I ever thought possible.  He was a good man but he more often than not bugged the crap out of me and I had little tolerance for his whack-a-doo ideas and beliefs.  He was super stubborn, a lot like me in fact.  The thing is, he absolutely adored Kiersta, and she him.  I am so sorry that the two of them will not be able to spend time together anymore.

This is the final picture I took of my dad and Kiersta together, less than a month before he passed away.

The other piece of news that has kept me from writing, is the fact that I have been super tired for the past three months or so.  I'm just not a very good pregnant lady.  My body does not like all of the hormones coursing through me and fights back on a near daily basis.  I didn't know I was pregnant at the time of my dad's death--I thought many of my symptoms were wrapped up in my grief and anxiety of the situation at hand.  While grief may have contributed, I now know the full story.  It is hard to be so happy and so sad at the same time.  I so wish my dad could have been told in person that he was going to be a Morfar (grandfather) again.  I have to believe that he does know in his own way though.

So there you have it, the death of my dad and the upcoming birth in mid-June of our second child.  As the cliche' says, when one door closes, another opens.  Cliches are said for a reason though and this one is definitely true for me right now.  I'm hoping that with 2008 ending I can put away my guilt over not writing and bring in a sense of renewed optimism for life with 2009.

Wishing everyone a very happy new year!

Sigh...Back to Square One

Last week Brian took Kiersta in for her "oral challenge" to see if she was still allergic to peanuts. Unfortunately she is.  The doctor started with a peanut butter rub on her lip. Everything was going well and the next phase, "chew a peanut and then spit it out" was about to begin.  However, right then Brian noticed that Kiersta had hives.  The rest of the testing was cancelled and we are back to square one.  We have to wait two more years before we have her tested again.  Two more years of label reading, two more years of worrying, two more years of not eating Chinese food, two more years of...well, the same.

When Brian called me and gave me the news, I was so sad.  I had been so hopeful and felt that there was no way she could still be allergic, but I was wrong.  Apparently this had been the second time in a week that there had been a negative scratch test result and then a positive result from the oral challenge.  The doctors are looking into the possibility of a bad batch of peanut scratch testers.  I just want for Kiersta to be "normal."  I don't want her to start elementary school next year where food is unrestricted and kids share.  She may just have to go to my school so that I can be there to keep an eye on things.  Kiersta is disappointed too.

Here's one sad girl (age 17 months)